When someone say's I like your shirt.. I look down to see what I'm wearing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have a memory foam mattress...and I really hope that it doesn't remember everything. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment, when you're walking through the metal detector and your abs of steel set it off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Im not saying I hate you. Im just saying if you got his by a bus, I would be driving that bus.:) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't Consider Yourself an ugly person,consider yourself a beautiful monkey. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I told my daughter that she can't have boyfriend till her age is off the clock. *puts military clock on wall* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
White people: 'OMG! I LOVE THIS SONG!' Black people: 'OH HELL YEAH NIGGA THIS IS MY SHIT!' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you and your friend s are playing hide and go seek so you go and hide and the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I party like rock star , look like a movie star , play like a all star , f*** like porn star...baby I'm Superstar!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Niggas be wanting a girl who plays video games, watch sports & wear jordan's. Sounds like you want a boyfriend bro ahah...;) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For All Girls That Say All Guys Are The Same , Who Told Yhuueww To Try Them All . ? S T… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Most kids: I like to drink and smoke weed. Me: When it's cold out I like to breathe heavily and pretend I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Stupid me! So that's why I work so many hours, so you can collect welfare,wear pajamas in public and have an iPhone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Welcome to facebook, where you can stalk your exes, freak out your frends, and go from normal to bi polor in 30 secounds! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not sure how people get eaten by sharks...I mean how do you not hear the music? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why do people feel stronger on Saturdays and Sundays? because all other days are Weak days!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If your shorts look like they're being eaten by your butt, they're not meant for you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Excuses are the easiest things to manufacture, and the hardest things to sell. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People say you can't live without love but I think oxygen is more important — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everyones middle name should be, motherfuckin...try it. Doesn't it sound so great? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wanna come over to MySpace and Twitter my Yahoo till I Google all over your Facebook? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Looks like Facebook and myspace got divorced but Facebook got the all the kids :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate how spiders just sit there on the walls and act like they pay rent... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always write 'Wake Up' on my To-Do-List so I can at least accomplish one thing a day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Self-Checkout lanes were invented by a guy who was sent out to buy tampons. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teen pregnancy will be at a all time low due to the releasing of Black Ops 2 & Halo 4. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm gonna cross 3/4 of the street, then turn around and go back for no fucking reason. -Squirrels — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear guy on the dance floor 'Raising the roof,' you're not raising your chances of getting laid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you're Talking behind my back that just means my life is obviously more interesting than yours. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I like to glew my thumbs to my nipples and pretend I'm a T-rex. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you see a guy opening a car door for a girl, it's either a new car...or a new girl! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
