Facebook status Quotes · Page 13

Don't worry about things that don't worry about you.

— Anonymous

I hope the NSA is concerned about how often my mother calls me.

— Anonymous

My excuse for being lazy: I'm not the real slim shady, so why would I stand up?

— Anonymous

Women speak in estrogen. Men listen in testosterone.

— Nikhil Saluja

Whenever I masturbate I always pretend my right hand has a British accent.

— Nikhil Saluja

Niggas Be Bragging About Having Side Hoes . . . A Lot Of Y'all Niggas Be Side Niggas ...

— Kevin Mccarty

Who else hates the sound of their own voice on video? Like this.

— Tanya Bianco

Lifes like a bird, its pretty cute until it dumps on your head.

— Anonymous

The Art of War:Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. - Oh! You didn't even deserve to be one. Unfriend!

— Yvonne Urlanda

Am I the only one who thinks it sounds desperate when someones facebook status says something like

— Anonymous

You can block me on Facebook but I know you cant block out the memories of me and you together in your…

— Leah

Because of Facebook I have failing grades, insomnia & I'm slowly beginning to see the fake in people as the days go by.

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when you take a shower in the middle of the day, and you don't know whether to put on…

— Anonymous

I rather tell the truth and have people hate me than tell lies and have people love me. -Just Saying

— Ephrem Hardin

Can you please tell me the logic excuses, you talked like this world is huge. Have u heard this what a small…

— Diana Yan Manan

If I can combine all your facebook status, I can have a nice Horror, comedy, drama sci-fi movie in one day..

— Simphiwe Scientist

That moment of preparation right before you step on an escalator.

— Anonymous

That frustrating moment when you don't finish your text before the damn light turns green...

— Anonymous

Dear Fall, Thank you for giving me a reason to wear cute boots and drink pumpkin spice lattes!

— Anonymous

Wow, that is a nice lookin pair of Crocs. Said no one ever

— Becca

Facebook should change the relationship status from 'Its complicated' to 'Sammie and Ronnie'

— Anonymous

We started with a simple hello but ended with a complicated goodbye.

— Tanya Bianco

Best of luck not getting murdered by the roommate you found on Craigslist.

— Anonymous

Never use wet wood in your fireplace. Always let weeping logs dry.

— Nikhil Saluja

Fellas: If you want your girl to remain an Angel...create a heaven for her.

— Anonymous

If two past lovers can remain friends, its either they are still in love, or never were.

— Cuts And Scars

Like if you always wanted to have the force like Popeye after eating Spinach

— Kand3n

I'm the kind of person who would come out of the gym...And go straight to McDonalds.

— Anonymous

So your name is Will, But you don't call your crotch The Willderness, then what the fuck?

— Nikhil Saluja

If you convince me to make me think WHAT THE FUCK you instantly get a retweet.

— Nikhil Saluja

That awesome moment when you drop your iPod and but your headphone cords save its life.

— Anonymous

That one person you wish you never gave your phone number to.

— Anonymous

Someone is always gonna talk about you.. so you might as well give them something to talk about

— Anonymous

I got a dream thats worth more then my reality. And pride thats worth more then a salary.

— Strawberry

I hate finding out that theres no milk in the fridge AFTER Ive already poured my cereal.

— Anonymous

Don't try to please people you'll fail, But you can piss them off and please yourself!

— Nikhil Saluja

Celebrate your own biases, they are probably brilliantly messy.

— Alastair Arnott

That terrible feeling when you have no internet connection.

— Anonymous

Don't worry about who I'm with in my space time if you're not working on trying to be mine.

— Anonymous

A real friend would willing to listen your unimportant and scrubby story.

— OhItsVynn