Misc SMS Jokes / Text Messages

Miscellaneous sms jokes that are hard to categorize, I consider them as simply hilarious sms jokes

U r so cute and dashing

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (38 votes, average: 3.79 out of 5)
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Don't stand too much in front of MIRROR.
Even da Mirror will fall in Love wid U
Coz
U r so Cute & Dashing..

4
more
JOKES
recharge Rs 30/- on my number;-)

1% of women under medication for mental illness

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (69 votes, average: 3.81 out of 5)
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Statistics show that 1% of women in the world,
are on medication for mental illness
.
.
.
.
.
So beware!

99% are running around
without proper medication!!

How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (90 votes, average: 3.84 out of 5)
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In a Mental Hospital a journalist asked the Doctor:
How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not?

Dr: Well, we first fill a BathTub & give a teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the Bathtub....

Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use d bucket bcoz its bigger....

Dr: NO, a normal person would pull the drain plug!
Now will u plz proceed to bed no.39 ;-)

Don't copy if u can't paste! :p

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (178 votes, average: 3.49 out of 5)
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A famous inspirational speaker said:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
Audience was in shock and silence..
He added: "she was my mother"
A big round of applause & laughter!

A very daring husbnd tried to crack this at home
After a dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker

by the time he gained his senses,
he was on a hospital bed,
recovering from burns of boiling water!

Moral: don't copy if u can't paste!

What A Mystery

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (136 votes, average: 3.74 out of 5)
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What A Mystery
A cockraoch is afraid of Rat,
Rat is afraid of Cat,
Cat is afraid of Dog,
Dog is afraid of Man,
Man is afraid of Woman,
And Woman is afraid of
.
.
.
.
.
.
Cockraoch!

Equation Of Life

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (19 votes, average: 3.84 out of 5)
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Equation Of Life

→ Life + Love = Happy
Life - Love = Sad

Adding above 2,

Life + Love = Happy
Life - Love = Sad

2Life = Happy + Sad

So,

Life = 1/2Happy + 1/2Sad

A Man's Feeling about mobile

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (39 votes, average: 3.77 out of 5)
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A man's feeling
.
.
.
It feels like a mini heart attack
when i dont find my mobile in my pocket
&
Its almost like heart fail
when i see it in my girlfriend's hand !

How to settle abroad?

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (50 votes, average: 4.10 out of 5)
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How to settle abroad?

For Boys:
Study hard
Get good grades
Appear in ielts n toefl
Apply for student visa
Wait for the call
Appear in the interview
Get admission in a university
Get good grades
Search for a job
Work hard, earn well to settle

For Girls:
Marry this guy

Positive thinking poem

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (28 votes, average: 4.21 out of 5)
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Positive-thinking poem:

Little bird in the sky
Droping shit into ur eye

U don't worry u don't cry,
U just thank God that,

Cows do not fly

Always b positive

Clock will never be stolen

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (45 votes, average: 4.44 out of 5)
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Words Written Above A Classroom Clock….
“This Clock Will Never Be Stolen,
Coz Too Many Students Are Watching It..!

Picture on driving license and facebook

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (40 votes, average: 4.23 out of 5)
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Funny Truth-

No one is as ugly as their driving license/ identity card picture,

nor as good-looking as their facebook profile pic..! :D ;)