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I can Quote by Tim Vine

“I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.” quote by Tim Vine — Download Open image

“I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.”

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I can Love Trying

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If you do weave one-liners into a story, you have to have an overall story as well, otherwise it doesn't really count as narrative.

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Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

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I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.

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My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him, ‘Don’t be Sicily’.

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I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

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So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'

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My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

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You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.

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Velcro: what a rip-off.

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I'm not someone who gets to play The O2 and places like that, but that's the kind of rock and roll venue. The popularity…

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So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I…

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It's very easy to fool yourself that you're working, you know, when you're really not working very hard. I mean, I'm very lazy. So…

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From my experience of having served for 3000 days, I can say that anything can be achieved.

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I can still function when I don't have that balance I crave. I had a tendency to be precious about acting, thinking of it…

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I take the responsibility of playing another ethnicity very, very seriously, and I promise myself and those people that I will represent them with…

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I can't say that there are 'things' that make me come alive. There are thoughts that make me come alive.

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