Harvard-lampoon Quote by The Harvard Lampoon

“It suddenly occurred to me that, after all that frolicking in the meadows, he hadn't kissed me. Was it because of the mold that…

— The Harvard Lampoon

“Allow me," said the elf, proffering Gimlet's beard to Frito, who was now sneezing uncontrollably.”

— The Harvard Lampoon

“As soon as we were inside, Edwart's family rushed to greet me. What seemed like thirty people circled me, chattering away. "Oh my god,…

— The Harvard Lampoon

“So all this time you thought I was a vampire? ' Edwart whispered furiously, pulling me a few inches to the left. 'Sure,' I…

— The Harvard Lampoon

“Nice piano," I said. "Do you play?" "oh no, but Edwart does!" Eva Mullen said. "A little," Edwart said sheepishly. "Go ahead, play!" Eva…

— The Harvard Lampoon

“Quick, I told myself. Try to remember what you learned from Jimbo's Self Defence for Young Ladies. Jimbo was a beefy man with prison…

— The Harvard Lampoon

“Elf-dog," hissed Gimlet, retrieving his beard. "Pig of a dwarf," suggested Legolam. "Toymaker." "Gold-digger.”

— The Harvard Lampoon

“Listen' he whispered ferociously, like a ferocious breeze or a very gentle hurricane.”

— The Harvard Lampoon

“I balked. Another vampire? I guess it made sense; the states of the Pacific Northwest were known for their lenient monster laws.”

— The Harvard Lampoon

“The two things I look for in a guy is how tall he is and whether or not he's a vampire.”

— The Harvard Lampoon

“How about we walk back? Through the cemetery ?' One thing my mom had taught me is that it's difficult to refuse requests made…

— The Harvard Lampoon

“picked!” I reply. I can’t stand Badge. She’s so stuck-up.”

— The Harvard Lampoon

“You should have seen the costumes for the last few prom themes: Pimps and their srteet ho's; CEOs and their office ho's; GI Joes…

— The Harvard Lampoon

“After dinner, Edwart took me upstairs to see his room. At the top of the stairs was a giant wooden cross. "Ironic, huh?" Edwart…

— The Harvard Lampoon

“All of a sudden, he began to laugh. Had I said something funny? Had he? How long had I been spacing out for, slowly…

— The Harvard Lampoon