"An apple a day keeps anyone away, if……" — Stephen Colbert

"An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough."

— Stephen Colbert

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321 Quotes by Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert has 321 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!
Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. What?s wrong with red, white and blue, USA Today?…
Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you…
Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and…
Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.
If it's called the USA Today, why is all the news from yesterday?
I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you'll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the…
Al Gore has a hit movie called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' I have an inconvenient truth for him: you're still not…
First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in'…
If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it…
Young girls are obsessed with having a thigh gap. I blame the impossible body standards set by Spongebob.

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More Anyone Quotes

This quote is filed under Anyone Quotes, one of 10,413 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

You can never guess or assume what anyone is going to think. — J. J. Abrams
Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but through greatness of mind. — Aristotle
We had hundreds of thousands of people all dedicated to doing the perfect job, and I think they did about… — Neil Armstrong
Yeah, I wasn't chosen to be first. I was just chosen to command that flight. Circumstance put me in that… — Neil Armstrong
I always think that if you look at anyone in detail, you will have empathy for them because you recognize… — Andrea Arnold
We like to engage in a normal publishing effort, which is to act in a responsible manner and make sure… — Julian Assange
I have been all things unholy. If God can work through me, he can work through anyone. — Francis of Assisi
Because a thing seems difficult for you, do not think it impossible for anyone to accomplish. — Marcus Aurelius
Living with anyone for many years takes skill. To keep peace in the household, couples learn to adapt to one… — Diane Ackerman
Anyone who truly loves God travels securely. — Teresa of Avila
Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else… — Richard Bach
Knowing when to leave may be the smartest thing anyone can learn. — Burt Bacharach

See all 10,413 Anyone Quotes »