"My wife and I were happy for 20…" — Rodney Dangerfield
"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."
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Rodney Dangerfield
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181 Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield has 181 quotes on this site.
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I'm at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep they will have someone to talk…
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What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself.
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I told my doctor I wonna stop aging, he gave me a gun!
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Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now I have to…
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My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.
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I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor; they sent…
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I was an ugly kid; when I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he hung himself.
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I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, "So will you."
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I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's picture that…
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My boy is a mean kid. I came home the other day and saw him taping worms to the sidewalk,…
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I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.
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You can name your own salary in this business. I call mine Fred.
See all 181 quotes by Rodney Dangerfield »
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