"When it comes to my wife and blowjobs,……" — Robert Schimmel
"When it comes to my wife and blowjobs, my dicks in the Witness Protection Program. 'Dick? I dont know nobody named Dick.'"
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Robert Schimmel
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22 Quotes by Robert Schimmel
Robert Schimmel has 22 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Because when you’re laughing, there is no other emotion in that moment except for joy.
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What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's…
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So my wife said she read this article in a magazine and she said: 'You know, maybe you're suffering from…
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Caution: Anal intercourse may lead to irregular heart rhythms. Yeah, you know I'm never gonna have to worry about that.…
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One of my friends goes: 'So, you know what really turns me on; when girls talk dirty in bed.' Yeah…
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What is it with the animals with the bikes? I took my daughter to the circus. She said: 'Daddy, how…
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So because of my act my daughter thinks she can talk to me about anything. She's been dating the same…
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I sit down with my daughter and I said, 'Do you know how babies get here?' And she said, 'Well,…
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It's my mission to try and give people fighting the disease the same gifts of laughter and a positive attitude…
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I was making love one night with my wife and she said: 'You're in me.' I know where I am,…
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Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids and asteroids called asteroids? Wouldn't it make more sense if it was the other way…
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I'm not ready to die. Period. To begin with, I cannot imagine a future without me in it. Can't do…
See all 22 quotes by Robert Schimmel »
More Blowjobs Quotes
This quote is filed under Blowjobs Quotes,
one of 19 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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At a wedding last week, my wife said: 'Isn't the bride beautiful ?' When I responded by saying, 'Yeah, but…
— David Henry
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I used to be an atheist, until I realized I had nothing to shout during blowjobs. Oh Random Chance! Oh…
— Robert Anton Wilson
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Women who work for escort agencies that assign them out to prostitution dates at sushi restaurants know how to eat…
— Julie Klausner
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This is the sixty-nine," I told him, presenting the magazine in front of him. I put my fingers -- two…
— Jonathan Safran Foer
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If your girlfriend complains that she's tired of giving you blowjobs, just outsource the work to her sister.
— Nikhil Saluja
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Ladies: when your parents told you as a child don't spit honey, it's not lady like. Those same rules apply…
— Nikhil Saluja
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Blowjobs not only feel great, they're also a great way to get your girl to shut the fuck up.
— Nikhil Saluja
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Blowjobs are the only jobs that haven't been affected by this shitty economy.
— Green Monk
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Blowjobs are the second best thing a woman can ever do with her mouth, the first best thing is shutting…
— Green Monk
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Blowjobs are like flowers for men.
— Megan Marie
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A female saying that she doesn't like attention is like a guy saying he doesn't like getting blowjobs. -Just Saying
— Ephrem Hardin
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The best inspirational songs talk about blowjobs and cupcakes (BOTDF)
— Wes Campton
See all 19 Blowjobs Quotes »