Quote by Rob Delaney

“Children give terrible gifts because they are poor.”

— Rob Delaney

I can say that I'm a feminist and I try to be progressive and all that stuff. But I when I'm tired or when…

— Rob Delaney

People who concern themselves with the rights of other adults who engage in consensual acts involving sex, love, and/or eating croissants together are damaged…

— Rob Delaney

If you have an opinion on what other adults do consensually with other adults when they take their pants off, you're a weirdo.

— Rob Delaney

Running is special. We've all done it: well, poorly, focused, in fear, being pursued, toward a goal. It's just elemental. Running is like fire.

— Rob Delaney

“Willful ignorance or resistance to alleged facts has been a big ingredient in any success I’ve had.”

— Rob Delaney

“Cheesecake. Are you shitting me? Who invented that? Probably Jesus of Nazareth. Or maybe Louis Pasteur. It makes me physically sick to think that…

— Rob Delaney

I think your ambition for something changes as you go.

— Rob Delaney

But I also know in standup, there's nowhere to hide. You get on stage and you deliver, or you are eviscerated and you are…

— Rob Delaney

I want people to feel good about themselves.

— Rob Delaney

“I like to imagine that those dead, unloved nut jobs became friends under the earth and have their little crazy community where they show…

— Rob Delaney

With Twitter, you just want to make people laugh in their meeting; on stage, people have paid for their tickets with their hard-earned money,…

— Rob Delaney