People who concern themselves with the rights of other adults who engage in consensual acts involving sex, love, and/or eating croissants together… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
I had always loved comedy, and acted out Steve Martin and Bill Cosby albums with my sister for my parents on road… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
People moved in across the street and are immediately cutting down a huge tree. Their toothbrushes will know my buttonhole. — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
Elderly people, I have found, when they're being honest, are also scumbags, and enjoy a little prurient humour as well. — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
I use Twitter as a tool to get involved with people, to sell tickets to gigs where I can stand in a… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
People say that the largest sexual organ is the brain, and I think the fact that they definitely amuse each other is… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
It makes me sad that corporations and media and Hollywood conspire to make people feel terrible about their bodies from the second… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
We can and should complain about certain horrors of the modern world, but when it comes to the treatment of mental illness,… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
With Twitter, you just want to make people laugh in their meeting; on stage, people have paid for their tickets with their… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
I was an extroverted kid and performed, like, acting and singing. Then, the older I got, I realized I enjoyed performing things… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
I can say that I'm a feminist and I try to be progressive and all that stuff. But I when I'm tired… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
I can say that I'm a feminist and I try to be progressive and all that stuff. But I when I'm tired or when… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
People who concern themselves with the rights of other adults who engage in consensual acts involving sex, love, and/or eating croissants together are damaged… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
“If you ask someone out and they say no, try it again in a few minutes wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigarette.” — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
If you have an opinion on what other adults do consensually with other adults when they take their pants off, you're a weirdo. — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
Running is special. We've all done it: well, poorly, focused, in fear, being pursued, toward a goal. It's just elemental. Running is like fire. — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
“Willful ignorance or resistance to alleged facts has been a big ingredient in any success I’ve had.” — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
“Cheesecake. Are you shitting me? Who invented that? Probably Jesus of Nazareth. Or maybe Louis Pasteur. It makes me physically sick to think that… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
But I also know in standup, there's nowhere to hide. You get on stage and you deliver, or you are eviscerated and you are… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
“I like to imagine that those dead, unloved nut jobs became friends under the earth and have their little crazy community where they show… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
