Bathroom Quote by Red Buttons

“Rip Van Winkle, who said, Don't make the bed; I'm just going to the bathroom. Never got a dinner!”

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Sonny Von Bulow, who said to her husband Claus on their honeymoon, Stop needling me. Never got a dinner!

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Moshe Dayan, who donated his eye to CBS. Never got a dinner!

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Dolly Parton, who said to her doctor, Are you sure it's a chest cold? Never got a dinner!

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If I lose show business - I'll really be an orphan!

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Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, I got more ribs - you got more broads? Never got a dinner!

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Joe Torre, who switched to first base because he didn't want to go through life as Chicken Catcher Torre. Never got a dinner!

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Eve said to the serpent, “You know I could go for a bite to eat, but I don't know you from Adam.”

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E.T., who said to Phyllis Diller, You look weird. Never got a dinner!

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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

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Goliath's mother, who said to Goliath, Stop running around with David! You're always coming home stoned! Never got a dinner!

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Simon Peter, who embarrassed the other disciples at the Last Supper by asking for seconds. Never got a dinner!

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Jacques Cousteau, the last man to see Jimmy Hoffa. Never got a dinner!

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I took a wrong turn on the way to the bathroom and found myself in a beautifully proportioned room I had never seen before, containing a really rather magnificent collection of chamberpots. When I went back to investigate more closely, I discovered that the room had vanished. But I must keep an eye out for it. Possibly it is only…

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In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and I said…

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My pet peeve is hearing a knock on the bathroom door followed by the familiar words, 'What are you doing in there?

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Using a public bathroom is an incredibly embarrassing experience. I enter the stall but can't reach the lock on the door.

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I get really nervous if pigeons are flying around before shows. I can't stand them after one once flew in through my bathroom window…

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“I'll meet you outside," I said. No way was I actually doing to shout 'I have to pee' at the top of my lungs.”

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I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

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How are we doing, Simon?" she whispered into the small microphone in her collar. "Just about..." Simon started slowly. And then he stopped. "Wow." "What?" she asked, panic in her voice. "Nothing," he said too quickly. "What?" she asked again. "Well...it's just that...your boobs look even bigger on TV." Kat took that opportunity to turn and glare at the nearest…

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