License plate Quote by Kevin McCarty

“Are you the owner of this car?" A cop has something you don't have, something you gave him earlier. "No, I'm just delivering it…

— Douglas Woolf

“He found himself thinking about a guy named Johnnie Larch he’d shared a cell with when he’d first been put inside, who told Shadow…

— Neil Gaiman

My wife isn't very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole…

— Rodney Dangerfield

“In 2011, a man in Cincinnati broke into a potato chip plant, and stole a computer desk, a book of payroll checks, other business…

— Jeffrey Fisher

Look officer, I'm not being a smartass. All I'm sayin' is if you caught me then you were speeding too.

— Anonymous

Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.

— George Carlin

I always get stopped by security and immigration, telling me, 'Tell me who the terrorist is, or we won't stamp your passport!' The last…

— Priyanka Chopra

“The items on the counter in the shop had been pawned by a man who had used an American driving licence as his ID,…

— James Patterson

“One licence plate: Louisiana, Sportsman’s Paradise.”

— Heide Goody

Can't help but laugh at this dude buying condoms and getting his card declined. He just got cock blocked by Visa.

— Brii Ann

I feel like I was just ran over by a dump truck, anyone get the license plate number?

— Azgraybebly Joslan

You have to be highly intelligent to get away with a dumb joke. That takes a pretty smart fella.

— Tracy Morgan