Quote by Jonathan H. Roberts

“A despairing arse will never produce a happy fart.”

— Frater U.D

“Farting, don't think, just fart.”

— John Cage

“A fart is just your arse applauding.”

— Billy Connolly

“It didn't amount to a fart in a windstorm, nohow.”

— Ferrol Sams

“Real winners do not compete.”

— Anonymous

“He gave out a victory-fart, but although this one was long and smelly, it was silent. His asshole was now a broken squeeze-box that…

— Stephen King

“A celebrity farts, and everyone endures, but the unpopular will be thrased to death.”

— Michael Bassey Johnson

“That is a fart without wind....." in reference to when you can't back up what you say. very funny.”

— Faye Kellerman

“Oh God. I'm jealous of farts.”

— Jennifer Lynn Barnes

“I fart, you fart, he farts, she farts. Let’s not deny it, people. Farting is a regular, healthy, and hilarious part of life. Squeezing…

— Neil Pasricha

“You're funny.' Phoebe passed me the last chocolate cupcake. 'And I always thought your friends were laughing over their own farts.' 'Ninety percent of…

— Robyn Schneider

“Politically, Republicans and Democrats are at opposite ends. One’s a burp and the other’s a fart.”

— Jarod Kintz