Stumbling block Quote by Jonathan Berent
““In more than a decade of psychotherapy practice, I have met thousands of people who refer to themselves as “shy.” Often, these people believe shyness is a fait accomplice, a matter of genetic predisposition that they must deal with as a fact of life. They say they were “born shy”—their parents, grandparents, or other relatives are shy too, and it’s just in their blood to be timid. Of course, behavior also can be handed down through conditioning—perhaps your mom always got nervous before a party so you learned to react the same way. Believing that “shyness” is an indelible component of the personality can be a real stumbling block to overcoming social fears. “That’s just the way I am” becomes an excuse for not taking responsibility for individual well-being. In order to change this mindset, it is important to understand that because shyness is learned, it can be unlearned. Anxiety can be controlled.””
About This Quote
Source Interview: Podcast on Psychotherapy, 2023
Shyness is often seen as innate, but it is largely learned and can be unlearned through conscious effort and exposure.
In simple terms: Shyness is learned, not fixed.
Key Takeaway
Recognize and challenge the belief that shyness is unchangeable.
Themes
psychology
self‑improvement
behavioral change
Mood
reflective
motivational
Type
advice
insightful
When to use this quote
- therapy sessions
- public speaking
- social networking
- new job environments
Key Concepts
conditioning
genetics
personal responsibility
Questions to Reflect On
- What evidence supports that shyness can be changed?
- How can you test your belief about being “born shy”?
A Different Perspective
Believing shyness is immutable may prevent people from seeking help.
