"If I'd only followed CNBC's advice, I'd have……" — Jon Stewart
"If I'd only followed CNBC's advice, I'd have a million dollars today. Provided I'd started with a hundred million dollars."
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Jon Stewart
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230 Quotes by Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart has 230 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates…
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I'm doing everything I can to sabotage my career. It's a little thing called "fear of success".
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The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is…
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Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let…
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Bad jokes and gay marriage are destroying this country. But torture can save it.
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Don't confuse [Father's Day] with Valentine's Day, and here's why. Boy, will you creep him out. I can just tell…
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Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys…
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I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried…
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The last thing we'll hear is some scientist saying 'It works!'
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Is listening to Pink Floyd in the dark a medical condition?
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I've always run by the hierarchy of 'If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If…
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A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him…
See all 230 quotes by Jon Stewart »
More Advice Quotes
This quote is filed under Advice Quotes,
one of 5,149 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
— Arthur Ashe
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Indeed, wretched the man whose fame makes his misfortunes famous.
— Lucius Accius
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If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice.
— Norman Ralph Augustine
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Because your own strength is unequal to the task, do not assume that it is beyond the powers of man;…
— Marcus Aurelius
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Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.
— Marcus Aurelius
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To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs.
— Sri Aurobindo
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If I were to give advice, I would say to parents that they ought to be very careful whom they…
— Teresa of Avila
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It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
— Roger Babson
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He that gives good advice, builds with one hand; he that gives good counsel and example, builds with both; but…
— Francis Bacon
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The worst men often give the best advice.
— Francis Bacon
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Write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable.
— Francis Bacon
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There is as much difference between the counsel that a friend giveth, and that a man giveth himself, as there…
— Francis Bacon
See all 5,149 Advice Quotes »