"She's so fat, she's my two best friends." — Joan Rivers
"She's so fat, she's my two best friends."
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Joan Rivers
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245 Quotes by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers has 245 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him. You'll double your wardrobe.'
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I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
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We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get…
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Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes…
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief…
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I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!
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A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of…
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My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never…
See all 245 quotes by Joan Rivers »
More Best Quotes
This quote is filed under Best Quotes,
one of 26,758 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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This is the precept by which I have lived: Prepare for the worst; expect the best; and take what comes.
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Where all are guilty, no one is; confessions of collective guilt are the best possible safeguard against the discovery of…
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As we all know, many people remain buried under tons of rubble and debris, waiting to be rescued. When we…
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Hope is a waking dream.
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My best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake.
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At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst.
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The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances.
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It is best to rise from life as from a banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken.
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Those who excel in virtue have the best right of all to rebel, but then they are of all men…
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Education is the best provision for old age.
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If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best…
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