Martha Stewart Quote by Jennifer Tilly

“Exactly; just because I like to suck dick doesn't mean I'm Martha Stewart in the kitchen.”

— Lisa Worrall

“Honestly—and maybe some of you can relate to this—I just can’t stand the pressure of being responsible for hosting a memorable (and not in…

— Tim Gunn

“I could make better pie-type love with a new stove! I heard his disembodied voice shout back, “Dick territory, babe. Don’t even think about…

— Kristen Ashley

“You might think you're a grown man, but I have absolutely no problem getting my spatula out and serving you up a helping of…

— Elle Casey

“Some things can't be ravished. You can't ravish a tin of sardines. And so many women are like that: and men. But the earth...!”

— D.H. Lawrence

“If there is anything more delicious than a sausage roasted over an open Bunsen burner, I can't image what it might be--Porcelain and I…

— Alan Bradley

“A brick could be used to destroy your mannequin lover. It’s the only proper thing to do. Remember, I was the one who warned…

— Jarod Kintz

“You have no spirit of culinary adventure. You need to be more like that snarky guy on the Travel Channel. He goes all over…

— Janet Evanovich

I think if you went back to the eighteenth century and you asked a fifteen year old boy, 'Would you like to marry a…

— John Green

“I'm not some whore you can buy with a pan of yummy baked goods, woman. How dare you insult me?”

— R.L. Mathewson

“What true materialist would settle for a MacDonald's hamburger?”

— John Gardner

“I would clear the table and Hugh would do the dishes, neither of us speaking and both of us wondering if this just might…

— David Sedaris