"I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because……" — Jack Handey
"I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away."
—
Jack Handey
★
★
★
★
★
0.0 avg (0 ratings)
397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
-
If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
-
I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
-
People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
-
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
-
I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
-
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
-
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
-
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
-
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
-
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
-
MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
-
I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Both Quotes
This quote is filed under Both Quotes,
one of 10,808 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
-
The most perfect political community is one in which the middle class is in control, and outnumbers both of the…
— Aristotle
-
Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the…
— Aristotle
-
Both oligarch and tyrant mistrust the people, and therefore deprive them of their arms.
— Aristotle
-
For though we love both the truth and our friends, piety requires us to honor the truth first.
— Aristotle
-
Mythology and science both extend the scope of human beings. Like science and technology, mythology, as we shall see, is…
— Karen Armstrong
-
When you work on something that combines both the spectacular and the relatable, the hyperreal and the real, it suddenly…
— J. J. Abrams
-
That said, the question remains: how to strike the balance between free speech and mutual respect in this mixed-up world,…
— Timothy Garton Ash
-
Mr. Bean is at his best when he is not using words, but I am equally at home in both…
— Rowan Atkinson
-
You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're…
— Dave Attell
-
The only way to save a rhinoceros is to save the environment in which it lives, because there's a mutual…
— David Attenborough
-
Science and fiction both begin with similar questions: What if? Why? How does it all work? But they focus on…
— Margaret Atwood
-
Choice of attention - to pay attention to this and ignore that - is to the inner life what choice…
— Wystan Hugh Auden
See all 10,808 Both Quotes »