"I think man invented the car by instinct." — Jack Handey

"I think man invented the car by instinct."

— Jack Handey

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397 Quotes by Jack Handey

Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…

See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »

More Car Quotes

This quote is filed under Car Quotes, one of 3,664 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

People are definitely a company's greatest asset. It doesn't make any difference whether the product is cars or cosmetics. A… — Mary Kay Ash
I could be on 52nd and Third in Manhattan up and ask a strange for directions and they will help… — Rodney Atkins
I'm not a collector. I don't like the toy cupboard syndrome that causes so many good cars to evaporate. — Rowan Atkinson
I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this… — David Attenborough
Kill all the rich people. Break up their cars and apartments. Bring the revolution home, kill your parents, that's where… — Bill Ayers
(On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the… — Tallulah Bankhead
I hate fishing, and I can't imagine why anyone would want to hike when you can get in the car… — Joseph Barbera
One of the points in which I was especially interested was the Jim Crow regulations, that is, the system of… — Ray Stannard Baker
When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and fools. — Russell Baker
Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that… — Russell Baker
I still think I'm like the poor girl from Colorado who worked three jobs to buy a car. That's still… — Amy Adams
The American Dream has run out of gas. The car has stopped. It no longer supplies the world with its… — J. G. Ballard

See all 3,664 Car Quotes »