"I bet it was pretty hard to pick……" — Jack Handey
"I bet it was pretty hard to pick up girls if you had the Black Death."
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Jack Handey
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397 Quotes by Jack Handey
Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
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People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
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The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
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I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
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If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
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Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
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What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
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Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
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MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
See all 397 quotes by Jack Handey »
More Bet Quotes
This quote is filed under Bet Quotes,
one of 835 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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Leroy bet me I couldn't find a pot of gold at the end, and I told him that was a…
— Rita Mae Brown
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It's never paid to bet against America. We come through things, but its not always a smooth ride.
— Warren Buffett
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What is faith but a kind of betting or speculation after all? It should be, I bet that my Redeemer…
— Samuel Butler
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I have always considered "Pascal's Wager" a questionable bet to place. Any God worth "believing in" would surely prefer an…
— Alan Dershowitz
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You bet I did and I enjoyed it.
— Michael Bloomberg
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Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag,…
— Dave Marr
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When you can show concern about what matters to your customer, that's Business to Customer Loyalty, and you can bet…
— Albert Houtum-Schindler
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Never bet on baseball.
— Pete Rose
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I bet if I give all my love then nothing's gonna tear us apart.
— Drake
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I would say you might encounter many defeats but you must never be defeated, ever. In fact, it might even…
— Maya Angelou
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I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…
— Jack Handey
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It doesn't matter if people are playing jazz or writing poetry. If they want to be successful, they need to…
— Jonah Lehrer
See all 835 Bet Quotes »
