"A quiz: If I am my brother's keeper,…" — Jack Handey

"A quiz: If I am my brother's keeper, who am I? (Answer: me.)"

— Jack Handey

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397 Quotes by Jack Handey

Jack Handey has 397 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have a knife, that's all I have…
I hope that after I die, people will say of me: 'That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'
People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side,…
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived…
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me…
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's…
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that…
Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around…
MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all get into the…
I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy…

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More Answer Quotes

This quote is filed under Answer Quotes, one of 4,553 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:

Ask yourself the secret of your success. Listen to your answer, and practice it. — Richard Bach
What is the possible benefit? Can this material save lives? Can it improve the quality of life in Iraq? Can… — Julian Assange
A mind lively and at ease, can do with seeing nothing, and can see nothing that does not answer. — Jane Austen
I don't like people lying to me. I don't like people who don't return my calls. I don't like people… — Dan Aykroyd
That is the great mistake about the affections. It is not the rise and fall of empires, the birth and… — Amelia Barr
Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word:… — Dave Barry
Art is elemental. Reason alone as it's expressed in the sciences can't be man's complete answer to reality, and it… — Pope Benedict XVI
The trouble with life isn't that there is no answer, it's that there are so many answers. — Ruth Benedict
Man is a question; woman is an answer. The mistake women make today is to offer themselves as answers before… — Jose Bergamin
I tell girls, 'If you're tall and feel too tall, the answer is to be taller.' — Elizabeth Berkley
I wish I had an answer to that because I'm tired of answering that question. — Yogi Berra
If you ask me anything I don't know, I'm not going to answer. — Yogi Berra

See all 4,553 Answer Quotes »