College Quote by Greg Proops

I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.

— Greg Proops

Talking to the British about sex is like talking to Americans about reading. Nobody does it so why talk about it?

— Greg Proops

I did stand up first in high school, joined an improv group in college, kept doing stand up after that, no one could deter…

— Greg Proops

“How come we got the grumpy boat of bandy-legged Puritans? How come we didn't get the Italian party boat with the cappuccino makers and…

— Greg Proops

In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.

— Greg Proops

If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you…

— Greg Proops

Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are…

— Greg Proops

Contact lenses are for vain, weak-willed piglets who swan around showing off: 'Look everybody, I can see without spectacles. No one at first glance…

— Greg Proops

People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.

— Greg Proops

I don't come on to seduce the audience. I don't care if everyone laughs. I can't think about that anymore. If there's anything that…

— Greg Proops

I'm old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.

— Greg Proops

I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.

— Greg Proops