Behaving Quote by Greg Behrendt
““We go out with someone, we get excited about them, and then they do something that mildly disappoints us. Then they keep doing a lot more things that disappoint us. Then we go into hyper-excuse mode for weeks or possibly months, because the last thing we want to think is that this great man that we are so excited about is in the process of turning into a creep. We try to come up with some explanation for why they’re behaving that way, any explanation, no matter how ridiculous, than the one explanation that’s the truth: He’s just not that into me.””
About This Quote
Source Interview: The Breakup Bible, Greg Behrendt, 2009
People often idealize new partners, then rationalize repeated disappointments, creating excuses to avoid confronting that the relationship may be unhealthy.
In simple terms: We make excuses for disappointing partners instead of facing reality.
Key Takeaway
Question the excuses you make for staying in disappointing relationships.
Themes
relationships
psychology
self‑deception
expectations
emotional health
Mood
reflective
cautious
empathetic
Type
advice
psychological
When to use this quote
- dating
- friendship
- therapy
- personal reflection
Key Concepts
cognitive dissonance
idealization
avoidance
self‑preservation
Questions to Reflect On
- What patterns of excuse‑making appear in your friendships?
- How can you cultivate healthier expectations?
A Different Perspective
The quote focuses on romantic disappointment but may overlook broader social contexts of power dynamics.
