If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
If you date, you will meet your share of weirdos and jerks. That is as sure as death and taxes. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
If he's choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight,… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
There's nothing wrong with sending a quick note if you're busy or just want to flirt, but it's hard to have any… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I will go anywhere if you say the phrase 'there might be cake.' I would go to the Department of Motor Vehicles,… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I'm just saying, tonight, if you're going through a breakup and you're drinking, don't call. Just don't do it. Don't call. Because… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I'm certain prison is pretty rough as it is but imagine if you were a murderer and a foodie! — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people... Because they'll let you down. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Be yourself. If something you do doesn't work, don't do it the next time. Listen to yourself - you know what appropriate… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk. If he likes you, he'll want… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn't… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Sometimes we become attached to what's familiar, and sometimes we hold on to things that are safe and predictable, even if they… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I have two rules when you come to my house on Halloween. Wear a costume - 'cause if you've manned your door… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I always say that I love magic but I hate magicians. I like being fooled. If you wave your hands in front… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
So, I'm 34. I'm kind of becoming an adult - kind of, I guess. But I know that I am because, the other day,… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
The best thing that can happen in a relationship is when you are the same person you were before the relationship started. You are… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Two people in a relationship either grow together or apart over time. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I do think that you can dress yourself out of a problem. The way that a haircut and a new pair of pants can… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first.… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you. — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
