"The best thing about living at the water's……" — George Carlin
"The best thing about living at the water's edge: You only have assholes on three sides of you, and if they come this way you can hear them splash."
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George Carlin
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546 Quotes by George Carlin
George Carlin has 546 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is…
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Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why…
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The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set…
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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it…
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then…
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The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
See all 546 quotes by George Carlin »
More Assholes Quotes
This quote is filed under Assholes Quotes,
one of 133 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
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My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring…
— Kevin Spacey
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I knew it... I'm surrounded by assholes!
— Mel Brooks
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My dad used to tell me 'opinions are like assholes, everybody has one'
— Miley Cyrus
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In all my years here, I don't think I've ever seen quite so many assholes gathered in one place!
— The Undertaker
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I've only been an asshole to assholes!
— Harlan Ellison
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The Devil got landed with a shitty job, he has to deal with assholes everyday, he's probably bored as hell.
— Gerard Way
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You try to make the world a better place and what does it get you? I mean, Christ, how the…
— Daniel Clowes
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Assholes tend to stick together, and once stuck are not easily separated.
— Robert I. Sutton
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Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.
— Mike Dirnt
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I’ve made my life’s work spotting assholes. And you know, I think it’s harder now than ever before because there’s…
— Merrill Markoe
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And what can we do to silence these Christian athletes who thank Jesus whenever they win, never mention his name…
— George Carlin
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The world is full of assholes. What are you doing to make sure you're not one of them?
— A.S. King
See all 133 Assholes Quotes »
