"Scientists announced today that they have discovered a……" — George Carlin
"Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it."
—
George Carlin
★
★
★
★
★
0.0 avg (0 ratings)
546 Quotes by George Carlin
George Carlin has 546 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
-
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
-
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
-
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is…
-
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
-
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why…
-
The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set…
-
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
-
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
-
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
-
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it…
-
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then…
-
The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
See all 546 quotes by George Carlin »
More Announced Quotes
This quote is filed under Announced Quotes,
one of 212 quotes in that category. Here are a few more:
-
If some great catastrophe is not announced every morning, we feel a certain void. Nothing in the paper today, we…
— Lord Acton
-
What the president announced yesterday, is that somehow magically, if we just continue to prime the pump of taxpayer dollars,…
— Eric Cantor
-
When I was president, I announced and I still maintain that I can live with Roe v. Wade. I did…
— Jimmy Carter
-
One thing that's really interesting is not only the magnitude of the recent immigration into this country, but also its…
— Unknown Author
-
If some good evidence for life after death were announced, I'd be eager to examine it; but it would have…
— Carl Sagan
-
The rhythm of the weekend, with its birth, its planned gaiety, and its announced end, followed the rhythm of life…
— F. Scott Fitzgerald
-
And whereas it is the duty of nations as well as of men, to own their dependence upon the overruling…
— Abraham Lincoln
-
Recognize in this bread what hung on the cross, and in this chalice what flowed from His side... whatever was…
— Saint Augustine
-
Very few of us can now place ourselves in the mental condition in which even such philosophers as the great…
— James Clerk Maxwell
-
The saints must be honored as friends of Christ and children and heirs of God. Let us carefully observe the…
— John of Damascus
-
Because of this basin of repentance and knowledge of God, which has been ordained for the transgression of God's people,…
— Justin Martyr
-
If somebody had started on a remake of French Kiss before I announced my own film, I would have dropped…
— Ajay Devgan
See all 212 Announced Quotes »