Fall in love Quote by Gary Chapman
““Research seems to indicate that there is a third and better alternative: We can recognize the in love experience for what it was—a temporary emotional high—and now pursue “real love” with our spouse. That kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth. Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving. That kind of love requires effort and discipline. It is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction—the satisfaction of having genuinely loved another””
About This Quote
Source Book: The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman, 1992
Love can be cultivated through intentional, disciplined effort that blends reason and emotion, rather than fleeting infatuation.
In simple terms: Real love needs choice, effort, and growth.
Choose love that grows with effort.
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- marriage counseling
- personal development
- conflict resolution
Key Concepts
Questions to Reflect On
- How can you balance reason and emotion in love?
- What habits support disciplined love?
Real love still faces challenges of habit and ego.