"So, I bought a new cd and I……" — Ellen DeGeneres
"So, I bought a new cd and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers..I mean plastic and then tape and the tape is like government tape. It says open here..is that sarcasm?, and buy batteries and they are in there with layers and layers of cardboard and then scissors....you need scissors to get into scissors, what if you were buying them for the first time? you wouldnt be able to get them open. Then you try and buy a light bulb and it's this thin thin cardboard .....what are they thinking? Ohh they'll be fine"
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Ellen DeGeneres
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247 Quotes by Ellen DeGeneres
Ellen DeGeneres has 247 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. But…
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It was so important for me to lose everything, because I found out what the most important thing is, which…
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I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters,…
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Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in…
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You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, 'Would you please stop…
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The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your…
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It feels good. Kinda like when you have to shut your computer down, just sometimes when it goes crazy, you…
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I'm glad I'm funny. I'm glad I make people happy, because that's very important. But I'm proud to be known…
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I'm going to be kind, because then it all just kind of spreads, and the world is a little nicer…
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Procrastination isn't the problem. It's the solution. It's the universe's way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast.
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You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me…
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Something big happened over the weekend. Something that affects everybody, all over the world. George Clooney got married.
See all 247 quotes by Ellen DeGeneres »
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