Clip Quote by Clement Freud

I find it hard to say, because when I was there it seemed to be shut.

— Clement Freud

About one thing the Englishman has a particularly strict code. If a bird says Cluk bik bik bik bik and caw you may kill…

— Clement Freud

To barbecue is a way of life rather than a desirable method of cooking.

— Clement Freud

If anyone tells me I'm fat, I say, - That's because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit

— Clement Freud

I understand it is 13-8 against Egon Ronay publishing a Good Betting Shop Food Guide by 1997.

— Clement Freud

If you mind losing more than you enjoy winning, don't bet.

— Clement Freud

The depressing thing about an Englishman's traditional love of animals is the dishonesty thereof ... Get a barbed hook into the upper lip of…

— Clement Freud

There's no law that decrees when not to whinge, but you reach a certain age - 80 seems about right - when you're expected…

— Clement Freud

In moments of considerable strain, I tend to take to bread-and-butter pudding. There is something about the blandness of soggy bread, the crispness of…

— Clement Freud

I was going to talk about Nicholas Parsons' ignorance, but 18 seconds would be a wholly insufficient time.

— Clement Freud

Wine buffs write and talk as though the food and wine will be in your mouth at the same time, that one is there…

— Clement Freud

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.

— Clement Freud