Best Santa Claus Sayings

157 Santa Claus quotes by 132 unique authors

If a kid ever asks you how Santa Claus can live forever, I think a good answer is that he drinks blood. — Jack Handey
If I ever saw magic on television I would say: 'I want that. That's what I want from Santa Claus'. So the cupboard in my… — Colin Morgan
Growing up, Santa Claus would cover the presents with a white blanket, so when we'd wake up Christmas morning, we had to wait for my… — Martina McBride
No matter what, I always make it home for Christmas. I love to go to my Tennessee Mountain Home and invite all of my nieces… — Dolly Parton
For the most part, people use God as Santa Claus. — Rickie Lee Jones
The only thing wrong with the U.S. economy is the failure of the Republican Party to play Santa Claus, — Jude Wanniski
This is, first and last, the real value of Christmas; in so far as the mythology remains at all it is a kind of happy… — Gilbert K. Chesterton
Contemporary American children, if they are old enough to grasp the concept of Santa Claus by Thanksgiving, are able to see through it by December… — Roy Blount, Jr.
I was probably nine or ten the first time I heard there was no Santa Claus. — Joe Nichols
We have confused God with Santa Claus. And we believe that prayer means making a list of everything you don't have but want and trying… — Harold S. Kushner
Let me tell you something. As we were walking around in the store, Marilyn and I were just really impressed by all the novelties and… — Dan Quayle
I had this grand idea that Elvira's kind of the Santa Claus of Halloween - at the malls, you'd have an Elvira there. Girls would… — Cassandra Peterson
Happiness does not come from external things as we're really taught as children. It doesn't come from Santa Claus. Happiness is from within your mind.… — Frederick Lenz
The reality of loving God is loving him like he's a Superhero who actually saved you from stuff rather than a Santa Claus who merely… — Criss Jami
Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide. — Milton Berle
Look, at some point, people have to tell their kids that Santa Claus isn't real. I hate to be the guy to do it, but… — Floyd Landis
More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good. — Linda Sunshine
Many practitioners think there is some giant balance scale, where someone is keeping track, like Santa Claus, and that will determine your allotment of presents.… — Frederick Lenz
Guys who dress up like Santa Claus, see, and give presents away do it because when they was young they must have did something bad… — George Seaton
"The only reason some of us are not exiled or thrown into prison is simply because we do not preach as fervently and as sternly… — Oliver B. Greene
... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them.… — Dave Barry
The title of that great Christmas song was 'Boogie Woogie Santa Claus,' and no one ever heard of it. — Patti Page
HOLLY KING is a symbol of the waning forces of Nature... The Holly King is depicted as an old man in winter garb. His head… — Raven Grimassi
I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. — Dick Gregory
I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year. — Jimmy Fallon

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