Off Quotes

15597 quotes by 8408 authors

I was making out with this woman, and my shirt was off, and she leaned over and, in a really cute, girly voice, went, 'Hey,… — Jason Segel
There's a vulnerability to being photographed without having your eyes defined or your eyebrows filled in, but I don't wear a lot of makeup in… — Jessica Biel
The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood. — Daniel Tosh
Im trying to slow down on the touring, thats the plan for next year, just being selective, only big things. Ive been touring for eight… — Fergie
I was a bouncer for nine years, it was all I knew how to do, and my training was not to talk loosely...That's still my… — Vin Diesel
Because of the dyslexia I always thought I had to work twice as hard as everyone else just to go the same distance. And I… — Orlando Bloom
What an amazing, gut-wrenching, emotionally taxing, inspirational day. Thanks to my AOTS family for an unforgettable send-off. — Kevin Pereira
I'm off to a wedding of two people who's name I don't know. But I do know there's free food and booze and that's good… — Sara Underwood
Off to a Clippers game! I'll embarrass everyone around me by yelling, good dribbling, and yay go make that shot in the basketball hoop! — Sara Underwood
Sarcasm is the only way I can avoid saying fuck off since in other places its considered rude and a big ass hole! — Osvaldo M
We wanted to do an early 90's R&B song. I think it was Jorma who said, 'What about giving a gift where you take the… — Andy Samberg
I'm officially kicking off Phase Two: Operation Fiscal Jackhammer. — Andy Samberg
Whatchu know bitch I'm on. And can't nobody turn me off and if I was a dick I would be hard but you would make… — Iggy Azalea
It's not like I was trying to be sexy but I had to get fit because I had to be able to do stunts. Also… — Daniel Craig
STAR BRIGHT STAR LIGHT THE FIRST STAR I SEE TONIGHT I WISH I MAY I WISH I MIGHT STAY OFF OF FACEBOOK ALL NIGHT LOL… — Malinda
I keep telling them, if they added a 2% stupidity tax, the national debt wud be paid off in a matter of weeks :) — Don Raj
Were just popping off just to kill shit and we drink a lot so we dont feel shit. She's in her birthday suit and shes… — Kreayshawn
I didn't know whether The Office was going to make it past six episodes, let alone have an effect on anybody's career. We were definitely… — Steve Carell
If you're gonna jump for love, bring a Parachute instead of a Bungee-rope. Both will save you from falling off. Only difference is, one will… — Rizzi Vicci
Someone asked a woman : Are you a Working Woman or a House-Wife? She replied : Yes I'm a full time working House-Wife. ... I… — Don Raj

Who Wrote These Off Quotes

8,408 authors contributed a total of 15,597 Off Quotes, led by these top contributors: