Best Masturbate Quotes
58 Masturbate quotes by 36 unique authors
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Sure boys masturbate more than girls. Girls dont have as big a temptation.
— Jules Carlysle
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I might go to heaven, I might go to hell But at least I know my cum doesn't smell And if I ever drafted Brandon…
— Trace Adkins
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Employee : Sir, you called me? Boss : Yeah,go to the rest room and masturbate. Employee : (After few mins) ,done sir Boss : Do…
— Unknown Author
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Motivation is bullshit, what you need to do is masturbate that is doing something.
— Jeremy Limn
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Sometimes I like to be a bit Romantic, that's why I light up a couple of scented candles when I masturbate.
— Green Monk
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Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
— Green Monk
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Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot masturbate
— Dave Barry
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Every time you ate, you have to masturbate.
— Goo Goo Dolls
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Taylor Gang or masturbate with sandpaper.
— Taylor Gang
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Riley's body is entirely covered and tied up From my desire now look at the fuckin' irony I killed my manager with an iron All…
— Tyler The Creator
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I just wanna talk, and conversate. Cause I usually just stalk you and masturbate.
— Tyler The Creator
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I'd rather masturbate with rest of my life than be with fake bitches
— Bru
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I urge all our listeners to masturbate. Right now. Because it takes the wind right out of the sex drive. We don't want rapists going…
— Adam Carolla
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Life is full of important decisions like whether or not you got time to masturbate.
— Peter Griffin
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Statistics say that 95% of the men masturbate. The rest 5% are liars.
— Ritu Ghatourey
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It's really so hard to talk with girls after you masturbate.
— Nikhil Saluja
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I'm pretty sure my grandmom watches over me whenever I masturbate. The sound of that walker is so unbearable.
— Nikhil Saluja
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Using Viagra to masturbate is a hardest time in every man's life...
— Nikhil Saluja
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When everything fails, masturbate.
— Nikhil Saluja
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If I was an octopus, I would check my emails while I feed myself while I pick my nose while I masturbate while I check…
— Nikhil Saluja
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My girl went away for the weekend, and I didn't masturbate once. I masturbated 21 times.
— Nikhil Saluja
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Whenever I masturbate I always pretend my right hand has a British accent.
— Nikhil Saluja
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Never masturbate to a fantasy involving anyone you might actually have to interact with. Trust me.
— Nikhil Saluja
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When life gets too stressful...Masturbate.
— Nikhil Saluja
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Whenever you're feeling sad masturbate, because every sad story deserves a happy ending.
— Nikhil Saluja
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Who Wrote These Masturbate Quotes
36 authors contributed a total of 58 Masturbate Quotes, led by these top contributors: