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Humorous Quotes by Lily Tomlin
- If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
- Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
- Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
- There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
- We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company.
More Humorous Quotes
- Wit is educated insolence. — Aristotle
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims. — Aristotle
- People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. — Isaac Asimov
- I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. — Isaac Asimov
- Meanwhile, fears of universal disaster sank to an all time low over the world. — Isaac Asimov
- O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. — Saint Augustine
- Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. — Saint Augustine
- If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. — Tallulah Bankhead
- No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. — Honore de Balzac
- It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty… — Honore de Balzac
- Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. — Douglas Adams