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Funny Valentines Day Quotes by Mike Birbiglia
1 Funny Valentines Day quote by Mike Birbiglia
More Quotes by Mike Birbiglia
Mike Birbiglia has 65 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:
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What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.
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My friends drink everywhere. They even drink at the laundromat. I tried drinking at the laundromat, and I thought I was in…
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Sometimes, when you want to be in a place so badly, you'll do anything.
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I didn't realize how good I was with computers until I met my parents.
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The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.
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Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?
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Falling in love is a completely transcendent experience. It's like eating pizza-flavored ice cream
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Sometimes when I do a joke and it doesn't get a lot of laughs, it kind of feels like I'm doing jazz.…
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Someone stole my wallet last week. The guy called me up and he was mad at me. He was like 'you gotta…
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I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family…
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...And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the…
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Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.
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More Funny Valentines Day Quotes
Popular Funny Valentines Day quotes from across the collection:
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When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if…
— Natalie Clifford Barney
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A man is only as good as what he loves.
— Saul Bellow
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A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.
— Rupert Brooke
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Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life.
— Lord Byron
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Oh here's an idea: let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day.…
— Jimmy Fallon
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Ever have that one friend who gets a Valentine's Day gift for their mother? Doens't that freak you out a little? It's…
— Unknown Author
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The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok,…
— George Lopez
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I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines…
— Mike Birbiglia
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Today, folks, should be all about love. Unless you're old.
— Stephen Colbert
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Love is just a chocolate substitute.
— Melanie Clark Pullen
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Basement smells bad. Look for cat poops, change litter.
— Martha Stewart
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Sex, unlike justice, should not be seen to be done.
— Unknown Author
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