Best Funny Love Quotes
179 Funny Love quotes by 135 unique authors
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When one door closes, another one opens, but sometimes we wait too long looking at the closed door, and never realize that another door has…
— Helen Keller
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I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.
— Mickey Rooney
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If we take matrimony at it's lowest, we regard it as a sort of friendship recognised by the police.
— Robert Louis Stevenson
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
— Woody Allen
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Love is a state of mind which has nothing to do with the mind.
— Bob Phillips
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Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason when a man is driving down that freeway of…
— Jerry Seinfeld
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
— Rita Rudner
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I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your…
— Jimmy Fallon
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Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret.
— Aphra Behn
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Respectable people do not write music or make love as a career.
— Alexander Borodin
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Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not have chosen a suit by it.
— Maurice Chevalier
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Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last.
— Remy de Gourmont
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Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.
— Bill Cosby
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Mumps, measles, and puppy love are terrible after twenty.
— Mignon McLaughlin
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What once were two, are one
— George Saunders
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On the secret to a lasting marrige: One of you has to be sane, and the other one is only allowed to be insanne occasionally.…
— Christopher Meloni
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It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves.
— Unknown Author
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The world's tragedy is that men love women, women love children, and children love hamsters.
— Joanna Trollope
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On quiet nights, when I'm alone, I like to run our wedding video backwards, just to watch myself walk out of the church a free…
— Jim Davidson
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The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much.
— Colin Chapman
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Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
— Unknown Author
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My life acccomplishments? Sanity, and you
— Elizabeth Gilbert
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Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
— Billy Crystal
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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
— Steve Martin
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Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
— Woody Allen
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Who Wrote These Funny Love Quotes
135 authors contributed a total of 179 Funny Love Quotes, led by these top contributors: