Funny Friendship Quotes

42 Funny Friendship quotes by 33 unique authors

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. — William Blake
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. — Erma Bombeck
A faithful friend is a strong defense; And he that hath found him hath found a treasure. — Louisa May Alcott
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. — Mark Twain
There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good many friends who call me a fool. — Gilbert K. Chesterton
Friendship is genuine when two friends can enjoy each others company without speaking a word to one another. — Unknown Author
Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them. — Edwin Arlington Robinson
Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity. — Khalil Gibran
The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you. — Elbert Hubbard
A friend is long sought, hardly found, and with difficulty kept. — St. Jerome
When you face a crisis, you know who your true friends are. — Magic Johnson
Geography has made us neighbors. History has made us friends. Economics has made us partners, and necessity has made us allies. Those whom God has… — John F. Kennedy
Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces. — Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Mighty proud I am that I am able to have a spare bed for my friends. — Samuel Pepys
Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend. — Plautus
The essence of true friendship is to make allowance for another's little lapses. — David Storey
The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend. — Henry David Thoreau
A man cannot be said to succeed in this life who does not satisfy one friend. — Henry David Thoreau
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog. — Harry S. Truman
Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend. — Sarah Dessen
I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly. — Mark Twain
No man can be called friendless who has God and the companionship of good books. — Elizabeth Barrett Browning
The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families. — Jay McInerney
Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none. — Benjamin Franklin
Tis a great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him his. — Benjamin Franklin

Who Wrote These Funny Friendship Quotes

33 authors contributed a total of 42 Funny Friendship Quotes, led by these top contributors: