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- High thoughts must have high language. — Aristophanes
- Some books are undeservedly forgotten; none are undeservedly remembered. — Wystan Hugh Auden
- A drink a day keeps the shrink away. — Edward Abbey
- A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to… — Roseanne Barr
- Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water,… — Dave Barry
- You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. — Dave Barry
- What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. — Dave Barry
- What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he… — Dave Barry
- Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore? — Henry Ward Beecher
- I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food… — Brendan Behan
- Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. — Robert Benchley
- I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry. — Robert Benchley