All Tom Lehrer Quotes
- From the three, you then use one to make eight ones. You add those ones to the three, and you get one-three base eight, or,… Add
- The civil liberties types who are fighting this issue have to fight it, owing to the nature of the laws, as a matter of freedom… All
- The Lord's our shepherd, says the psalm. But just in case, we better get a bomb. Better
- The poor folks hate the rich folks, and the rich folks hate the poor folks. All of my folks hate all of your folks, it's… All
- They love us everywhere we go. So when in doubt, send the Marines. Doubt
- Filth, I'm glad to say, is in the mind of the beholder. When correctly viewed, everything is lewd. Beholder
- You can raise welts like nobody else, as we dance to the Masochism Tango. Dance
- Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down? Care
- Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, Advertising wondrous things! Advertising
- Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air! Air
- Plagiarize, plagiarize, / Let no man's work evade your eyes, / Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, / Don't shade your eyes, /… Call
- Angels we have heard on High Tell us to go out and Buy. Angel
- Everything is so weird in politics that it's very hard to be funny about it, I think. Funny
- I've heard it quoted that I was dead. You can't believe anything you read. That was just an off-hand remark somebody picked up, and now… Been
- Comedy is very important, yes. For one thing, it keeps you sane. But it's not really a conversion. I mean, it's marginally a conversion, because… Comedy
- I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that's not exactly a full-time job. It wasn't that I was writing and writing and… Exactly
- I would do nightclubs and concerts - particularly concerts, which is mostly what I did - and only people who already agreed with me would… Agreed
- Once you've heard the joke, it's not funny anymore, but it's the way it's told. And I think that's the same with the music: The… Anymore
- I don't have the temperament of a performer, and I certainly couldn't do it every night. Every Night
- People would go anywhere to see a famous person in the flesh, no matter what they do. Anywhere
- I find that people can pass me on the street who've just seen my picture in the paper and they wouldn't recognize me. If they'd… Find
- If I see a movie star in the department store buying something, I'll kind of sidle up and see what they're saying, what they look… Buying
- Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it. Depends
- Bad weather always looks worse through a window. Always Looks
- I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. Communicate