“The benefits of deep attachment are powerful - regulated people feel whole, centered, alive.” — Thomas Lewis People Feel Copy Share Image
“Emotional life can be influenced, but it cannot be commanded.” — Thomas Lewis Emotion Copy Share Image
“Who we are and who we become depends, in part, on whom we love.” — Thomas Lewis Depends Copy Share Image
“The brain’s dense thicket of interrelationships, like those of history or art, does not yield to the reductivist’s bright blade.” — Thomas Lewis Art Copy Share Image
“In all of its varied and protean forms, love is the tether binding our whirling lives. Without that biological anchor, all of… — Thomas Lewis Love Copy Share Image
“Long-standing togetherness writes permanent changes into a brain's open book. In a relationship, one mind revises another; one heart changes its partner. (144)” — Thomas Lewis Books Copy Share Image
“What Richard Selzer, M.D. once wrote of surgery is true of therapy: only human love keeps this from being the act of… — Thomas Lewis Human love Copy Share Image
“One brain’s blueprint may promote joy more readily than most; in another, pessimism reigns. Whether happiness infuses or eludes a person depends,… — Thomas Lewis Happiness Copy Share Image
“Knowing someone is the first goal of therapy. Modulating emotionality - whether by relatedness or psychopharmacology or both - is second. Therapy's… — Thomas Lewis Emotional life Copy Share Image
“Total self-sufficiency turns out to be a daydream whose bubble is burst by the sharp edge of the limbic brain. Stability means… — Thomas Lewis Identity Copy Share Image
“In a dazzling vote of confidence for form over substance, our culture fawns over the fleetingness of being “in love” while discounting… — Thomas Lewis Confidence Copy Share Image
“A person cannot direct his emotional life in the way he bids his motor system to reach for a cup. He cannot… — Thomas Lewis Choice Copy Share Image
“When people have trouble with their emotions – a bout of anxiety or depression, say, or seasonal gloominess - they often want… — Thomas Lewis Depression Copy Share Image
“Modern amorists are sometimes taken aback at the prospect of investing in a relationship with no guarantee of reward. It is precisely… — Thomas Lewis Love Copy Share Image
“Mutuality has tumbled into undeserved obscurity by the primacy our society places on the art of the deal. The prevailing myth reaching… — Thomas Lewis Love Copy Share Image
“The emotional mind likewise transcends the facile and appealing dualism separating its psychological and biological aspects. Physical mechanisms produce one’s experience of… — Thomas Lewis Binary-thinking Copy Share Image
“Loving is limbically distinct from in love. Loving is mutuality ; loving is synchronous attunement and modulation. As such, adult love depends… — Thomas Lewis Love Copy Share Image
“Advances in communication technology foster a false fantasy of togetherness by transmitting the impression of contact- phone calls, faxes, e-mail- without its… — Thomas Lewis Communication Copy Share Image
“When trying to fathom an immense, intricate system, drawing direct arrows of causality between micro and macro-components is perilous. Which stock caused… — Thomas Lewis Love Copy Share Image
“The limbic connectedness of a working psychotherapy requires uncommon courage. A patient asks to surrender the life he knows and to enter… — Thomas Lewis Courage Copy Share Image
“People rely on intelligence to solve problems, and they are naturally baffled when comprehension proves impotent to effect emotional change. To the… — Thomas Lewis Applied-knowledge Copy Share Image
“Cultural messages inform the populace that if they aren't perpetually electric they are missing out on the pinnacle of relatedness. Every pop-cultural… — Thomas Lewis Intimacy Copy Share Image
“Limbic pursuits sink slowly and steadily lower on America’s list of collective priorities. Top-ranking items remain the pursuit of wealth, physical beauty,… — Thomas Lewis Happiness Copy Share Image
“People who need regulation often leave therapy sessions feeling calmer, stronger, safer, more able to handle the world. Often they don't know… — Thomas Lewis Mental health Copy Share Image
“Even after a peak parenting experience, children never transition to a fully self-tuning physiology. Adults remain social animals: they continue to require… — Thomas Lewis Children Copy Share Image
“Describing good relatedness to someone, no matter how precisely or how often, does not inscribe it into the neural networks that inspire… — Thomas Lewis Inspire love Copy Share Image
“The person of the therapist is the converting catalyst, not his order or credo, not his spatial location in the room, not… — Thomas Lewis Mental health Copy Share Image
“Everything a person is and everything he knows resides in the tangled thicket of his intertwined neurons. These fateful, tiny bridges number… — Thomas Lewis Daily life Copy Share Image
“Our society’s love affair with mechanical devices that respond at a button-touch ill prepares us to deal with the unruly organic mind… — Thomas Lewis Love Copy Share Image
“The first part of emotional healing is being limbically known - having someone with a keen ear catch your melodic essence. (170)” — Thomas Lewis Emotional Healing Copy Share Image
“The skill of becoming and remaining attuned to another's emotional rhythms requires a solid investment of years.” — Thomas Lewis Investing Copy Share Image
“People differ in their proficiency at tracing the outlines of another self, and thus their ability to love also varies.” — Thomas Lewis Ability to love Copy Share Image
“Emotions are humanity's motivator and its omnipresent guide. (36)” — Thomas Lewis Emotions Copy Share Image
“Love is simultaneous mutual regulation, wherein each person meets the needs of the other, because neither can provide for his own.” — Thomas Lewis Love Copy Share Image
“The mind-body clash has disguised the truth that psychotherapy is physiology. When a person starts therapy, he isn't beginning a pale conversation;… — Thomas Lewis Communication Copy Share Image
I don't believe in God for the same reason that most people don't believe in Apollo or Zeus. ... God is just… — Thomas Lewis Apollo Copy Share Image
“But dividing the mind into “biological” and “psychological” is as fallacious as classifying light as a particle or a wave. The natural… — Thomas Lewis Binary-thinking Copy Share Image
“Being well regulated in relatedness is the deeply gratifying state that people seek ceaselessly in romance, religions, and cults; in husbands and… — Thomas Lewis Community Copy Share Image
“All of us, when we engage in relatedness, fall under the gravitational influence of another’s emotional world, at the same time that… — Thomas Lewis Astronomy Copy Share Image
“When anxiety becomes problematic, most people try vainly to think their way out of trouble. But worry has its roots in the… — Thomas Lewis Anxiety Copy Share Image
