People who have nothing to talk about, talk about themselves. — Nikhil Saluja People Copy Share Image
I was much better at learning things before I knew about boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Boobs Copy Share Image
If you have to ask the person if they're bored, you already know the answer. — Nikhil Saluja Bored Copy Share Image
Remember: when a pretty girl says No, she really means Yes -- but just not with you! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
So far 2013 is all about me falling asleep on the couch while shagging myself. — Nikhil Saluja Falling asleep Copy Share Image
Lifehack: End your day whenever you accidentally close your Gmail tab. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Doctor: You'll live to be 60! Patient: I AM 60! Doctor: See! What did I tell you? — Nikhil Saluja Doctor Copy Share Image
I prefer eating a vegetarians pussy because it's organic, sorry meat eaters. — Nikhil Saluja Food Copy Share Image
I don't tell sexist jokes at parties any more.They're too complicated for women. — Nikhil Saluja Comedy Copy Share Image
I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Leo and she's a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: A contradiction in terms. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
I don't need beer to have a good time, I just need it to focus, avoid depression, good tweets, fall asleep, and… — Nikhil Saluja Beer Copy Share Image
The problem with being just friends is I have to watch you be with someone who doesn't deserve you when I could… — Nikhil Saluja Friends Copy Share Image
Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day, but give a man an empty house and a hand… — Nikhil Saluja Fish Copy Share Image
If shes amazing, she wont be easy. If shes easy, she wont be amazing. If shes worth it, you wont give up.… — Nikhil Saluja Amazing Copy Share Image
Throughout my life, I've lived, I've loved, I've lost, I've missed, I've hurt, I've trusted, I've made mistakes. Most of all I've… — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
I just got engaged. My fiancée won't take my name because Lisa Levin sounds awful. So she's just going to remain Lisa… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I stick my middle finger up at the cops all the time. At night. When they're driving the opposite way. And we're… — Nikhil Saluja Cops Copy Share Image
Those guys were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Doctor, Doctor I'm a burglar! Have you taken anything for it? — Nikhil Saluja Burglar Copy Share Image
