Nikhil Saluja

I bring shame to my family one tweet at a time.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, Man's grand delusion that one woman differs from another;

— Nikhil Saluja

The voices in my head have voices in their heads.

— Nikhil Saluja

Sex is like the alphabet cause bitch 'I' cum before 'U'.

— Nikhil Saluja

An insulting telegram is a barbed wire.

— Nikhil Saluja

Love is a vine that grows into our hearts.

— Nikhil Saluja

I always take my 2 naps at a time.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just want someone to compliment my new underwear. Ugh, its so hard being a salesman in this day and age.

— Nikhil Saluja

Whenever you're sad just remember that you dont look like you did in 6th grade.

— Nikhil Saluja

Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just puked and some inspirational tweets came out. Now I know where some of you get your tweets from!

— Nikhil Saluja

Women over 200 pounds with a visible thong should have to register as sex offenders.

— Nikhil Saluja

I like my porn like I like my food; homemade and sometimes on the kitchen table.

— Nikhil Saluja

The British Royal Family had to be Gujjus - love dressing gaudy whenever they step out.

— Nikhil Saluja

Found out my girlfriend has been selling her pussy but it's OK she's just playing tricks on me.

— Nikhil Saluja

No, leave that bra on. 'Coz I'm gonna fuck your boobies right out of it. is a romantic thing to say right…

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, HAPPY, a spouse who is sometimes so because she has the best husband -- more often it is that she makes…

— Nikhil Saluja

Looking at my last summer pics & seeing how much weight I've gained has inspired me to make a resolution this summer…

— Nikhil Saluja

I just met this BELIEBER and I wish it was legal to MURDER them. Don't get me wrong, I still MURDERED him.…

— Nikhil Saluja

Never argue with a woman when Shes Angry., . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Or when shes Tired¦or Relaxed¦or Happy¦.or JUST NEVER

— Nikhil Saluja

If God Was A Woman… There would be no cellulite

— Nikhil Saluja

Tears: The hydrolic force that women use to defeat men.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's rude to look while I'm masturbating.

— Nikhil Saluja

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.

— Nikhil Saluja

Speaking your mind is easy. Speaking it tactfully? Not so much.

— Nikhil Saluja

I wonder if birds want to drive as much as humans want to fly.

— Nikhil Saluja

Feeling fat is my bread & butter.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm just one more bad decision away from my own reality show.

— Nikhil Saluja

You look like shit. Is that the style now?

— Nikhil Saluja

I surprisingly hate when people surprise me.

— Nikhil Saluja

Nothing turns me off faster than cigarette smoke.

— Nikhil Saluja

I saw a butterfly with a tattoo of a teenage girl on its wing.

— Nikhil Saluja

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

— Nikhil Saluja

Is it considered cheating when married porn stars go to work?

— Nikhil Saluja

Guns don't kill people. women who drives do.

— Nikhil Saluja

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

— Nikhil Saluja

Life is just the thing we do in between Poops.

— Nikhil Saluja

A woman's thong is like a baby hammock for vaginas.

— Nikhil Saluja

Attractive people get away with everything.

— Nikhil Saluja