EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. — Nikhil Saluja Communication Copy Share Image
Ladies: when your parents told you as a child don't spit honey, it's not lady like. Those same rules apply to blowjobs… — Nikhil Saluja Children Copy Share Image
95% of vegetarians are vegetarian just so they can tweet & tell the rest of us they are. — Nikhil Saluja Food Copy Share Image
I'm husband material (Getting fatter, balding, emotionally distant, intermittently angry for no reason — Nikhil Saluja Husband material Copy Share Image
Instagram and nightclubs are where ugly people go to trick people into thinking they're hot. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If you're a cowboy who likes to line dance always remember, the girl behind you is secretly calling you a pussy. — Nikhil Saluja Cowboy Copy Share Image
I don't delete tweets that don't get retweeted. I hug them and tell them they're just as special. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you're going to act like a pussy, you should at least dress like one... Here I bought you the smallest dildo… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That moment when you have to beg yourself to stop crying and tell yourself, 'Be Strong' — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It sucks when you try to blackmail someone & it doesn't work. 'If you do this ever, I'm never going to talk… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
When friends at work ask me to hang out I tell them I'm busy at home and friends at home that I'm… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Theres two kinds of women: The kind that get married and have a bunch of kids, and The kind that stay single… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
My Wife was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked… — Nikhil Saluja Beauty Copy Share Image
Women say, It's not the size of the boat that matters, but motion in the ocean. My boat sinks right away and… — Nikhil Saluja River Copy Share Image
I think I might vote for Barack Obama. Because I live in New York City and have been giving black guys change… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I took nine years of French, but I can't remember any of it. I realized on the plane ride over that if… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone knocks on the bathroom door. — Nikhil Saluja Awkward moment Copy Share Image
I'm sure I have haters, but they probably have their reasons. — Nikhil Saluja Haters Copy Share Image
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes. It's science. — Nikhil Saluja Food Copy Share Image
It's hard to make a comeback When you haven't been anywhere. — Nikhil Saluja Comeback Copy Share Image
