“Dick called, but he just left dirty voice-mail messages. Let's just say if I'm ever in the market for a massage involving… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory.” — Molly Harper Funny Copy Share Image
“Wait, Richard Cheney, as in Dick Cheney? You're a vampire named Dick Cheney? Somehow, that makes you seem more evil.” — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“I was shameless in my supermarket-shelf mass-market taste. I loved King, Evanovich, Grisham and Brown. I won't lie; the oficial-looking filing cabinet… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Does Hallmark make a “Sorry I tried to drink your blood and touched you in a vaguely inappropriate manner” card? I settled… — Molly Harper Apology Copy Share Image
“He’s practically stalking me. He just won’t let it go. He’s just being … he’s being a jackass with a flaky jackass… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“After pacing, humming, yoga, and playing Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon with the entire cast of Good Times, exhaustion finally got to… — Molly Harper Exhaustion Copy Share Image
“THE BLUE GLACIER SALOON was part general store, part restaurant, part bar. It was my fantasy come true, a Stuckey’s that served… — Molly Harper Saloon Copy Share Image
“Mama Ginger came calling, to set the alarm on my biological clock. Oh, and to remind me that there’s no point to… — Molly Harper Biological clock Copy Share Image
“I am not the kind of girl who trusts a man to tell her everything she needs to know in his own… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
A woman puts on a new dress eyeliner lip gloss to please others. A woman paints her toes to please herself. And… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“The bottom line is: if you were a jerk in your original life, you're probably going to be a bigger undead jerk,… — Molly Harper Bottom line Copy Share Image
“Mama operated under the assumption that I was eight years old and incapable of feeding myself. It was physically impossible for her… — Molly Harper Food Copy Share Image
“Not to be rude, but it was all pointless," I noted from across the room. Four eyes narrowed at me. "What? I… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“He delivered the mail, ran our modest recycling program, and maintained our handful of public buildings. He also occasionally fell asleep while… — Molly Harper Contemporary-comedy Copy Share Image
I loved my job at the paper. I loved meeting new people every day and never knowing where I would end up.… — Molly Harper Children Copy Share Image
Contrary to popular myth, werewolves myth, werewolves are born, not made. No matter how many times they bite someone, that person will… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall… — Molly Harper Candy Copy Share Image
“Cooper! Help!' The coward turned and walked into the kitchen as if he hadn't seen me getting frogmarched by the estrogen squad.” — Molly Harper Contemporary-comedy Copy Share Image
I am a disaster magnet. I came home from our first anniversary vacation with jellyfish stings, a puncture wound from a wrought… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“I wonder if it would be unethical for me to turn James Marsters? And then force him to fake the Cockney accent?… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Don’t tell them he’s upstairs , I commanded my brain. Tell them he moved to Pacoima to start a commune for vegetarian… — Molly Harper Vampires Copy Share Image
“Look, over the years, my unique sense of humor and perverse grasp of honesty may have led to some hurt feelings and… — Molly Harper Comedy Copy Share Image
“She's your mother. I asked, Plus, you do look a bit like her. When you're angry, you both get these tense lines… — Molly Harper Anger Copy Share Image
“She had a knack for relieving the tension in a room by pretending my rudeness away with cooking. Many, many chickens had… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“The love of a good woman can save a man" I remember Gabriel saying. "Or it can drive him to fits of… — Molly Harper Good woman Copy Share Image
“He's like that with everybody. Don't take it personally. Some people were just born with a pinecone shoved up their butts. In… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet...Ew, did you...?" "Yes, I met… — Molly Harper Evil love Copy Share Image
“So, you purchased ancient Babylonian texts, which may or may not call forth Gozer the Destroyer, on eBay?” Zeb asked.” — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Jane Jameson." He grinned. "Like the porn star." I gaped at him. "What? No, Jane Jameson." "Oh, not as fun," he said,… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Can we get a whiteboard,like on Law and Order?" Andrea asked. Dick nodded. "I was thinking official 'Keep Jane from Being Murdered… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Ophelia was beating some poor underling for not knowing her arse from the sparse collection of cells between her ears.” — Molly Harper Contemporary-comedy Copy Share Image
“Zeb was kindergarten teacher--a good one. I always thought it was because he was the same emotional age as his students.” — Molly Harper Funny Copy Share Image
“I couldn’t have loved her more if she was my own child. But sometimes I considered shaving her eyebrows off while she… — Molly Harper Humor Copy Share Image
“Are you sure about that he called off the wedding, Jolene? Sometimes Zeb misspells stuff in e-mails, and it comes across badly.” — Molly Harper Break up Copy Share Image
“Vampirism: (n) 1. The condition of being a vampire, marked by the need to ingest blood and extreme vulnerability to sunlight. 2.… — Molly Harper Vampire Copy Share Image
You can take the girl out of the library, but you can’t take the neurotic, compulsively curious librarian out of the girl. — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
I wondered what would be the most humiliating way possible to be turned into a vampire - a story that a vampire… — Molly Harper Buddies Copy Share Image
“It took me awhile to learn the rules. OK, it took the librarian in me weeks of careful obsessive research to learn… — Molly Harper Librarian Copy Share Image
“I grabbed my purse, which was conveniently place by the front door. Gabriel was such a considerate abductor/host. He even left the… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
