“Hi Maggie, it's nice to see you again,' he said, smiling so sweetly I thought I might need insulin.” — Molly Harper Comedy Copy Share Image
“Besides, my drinking blood's not nearly as weird as that time I caught you shaving your legs." "I was curious!” — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“You can't worry about the future so much that you miss out on the present.” — Molly Harper Fear Copy Share Image
“She was the type of librarian who has “Reading is supposed to be educational, not fun” tattooed somewhere.” — Molly Harper Librarian Copy Share Image
“The catch was that we could never break up, because I had run out of friends who were willing to help us… — Molly Harper Friends Copy Share Image
“I let Eli blow so much smoke up my skirt I'm surprised I don't have ass cancer.” — Molly Harper Smoke Copy Share Image
“Also, a running chainsaw mysteriously fell on him from a hayloft. He would never get that pinkie toe back.” — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“It felt like life had thrown a pie right in my face. And that pie was full of bricks.” — Molly Harper Humor Copy Share Image
“When you encounter unpleasantness from the human population, try to keep in mind that you will be able to dance on their… — Molly Harper Dance Copy Share Image
“If one is going to spend her afternoon singing hymns to the great porcelain goddess, she might as well do it in… — Molly Harper Contemporary-comedy Copy Share Image
“I poked him in the chest. 'First of all, yes, it was. Lacy cards and love tokens were widely exchanged even in… — Molly Harper Love Copy Share Image
“Tell them you're pregnant with a married minister's baby, then say, "Just kidding! I'm a vampire,'" she suggested.” — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“...and challenging your neighborhood to a round of competitive outdoor decorating. Because you’re not really celebrating the birth of Jesus unless your… — Molly Harper Celebrating Copy Share Image
“We're allergic to to silver. Imagine sticking your hand in a hornets' nestand being forced to listen to the Wiggles while the… — Molly Harper Silver Copy Share Image
“I came home to find him propped up on a stack of pillows, sipping blood through a crazy straw (because it amused… — Molly Harper Jane-jameson Copy Share Image
“Go on, you've claimed your thirty pieces of silver, go do something crazy like put gas in that penis replacement you call… — Molly Harper Humorous Copy Share Image
“We finally settled on Francis Ford Coppola's version of Dracula, which, unfortunately, Gabriel seemed to think was a comedy. I think it… — Molly Harper Comedy Copy Share Image
“I fixed your car," he said, tossing the keys from a jade dish on the little maple end table. I palmed them… — Molly Harper Funny Copy Share Image
I think my books are lighter and funnier than some of the big series out there. You may not walk away from… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“I forced myself to open my eyes. I was a Puckett, damn it. And Pucketts didn't lose our nerve. We schemed, we… — Molly Harper Christmas party Copy Share Image
“Aunt Jettie: "yes, i'm wandering the earth seeking revenge on ben & jerry for giving me the fat a$$ and coronary &… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Instead of celebrating with a cake (too full of poisonous refined sugars) and presents (too materialistic), my mother would come into my… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Why not? If you're not going to let me see you naked, we might as well be girlfriends." "You're a twisted little… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
Wal-mart started selling “Vampire Home Defense Kits”, including holy water, crosses, stakes, mallets, and a book of quick blessings to bar vampires… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Did they make Adam's apple porn? Was that a thing? Would I be scarred for life if I Googled it? And if… — Molly Harper Life Copy Share Image
I have lived in Kentucky all of my life. I am married to my high school sweetheart, David, a local police captain… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
I think the very word stalking implies that you're not supposed to like it. Otherwise, it would be called 'fluffy harmless observation… — Molly Harper Stalking Copy Share Image
“...yourself into an information-overload-fueled frenzy, convinced that you could arrange the whole wedding yourself, and eventually killed one of your loved ones… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“You will treat my underwear with the reverence it deserves. Next time, you will stop and appreciate--hell, you'll marvel at the miracle… — Molly Harper Next time Copy Share Image
“You are the night." "I am the night," I repeated. "You are the night." I cocked my head, sending him a questioning… — Molly Harper Curse Copy Share Image
“What was that?" Rich combined the pain of a crooked arm with the indignity of a flicked ear. I could only hope… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“Maybe the problem was that we never struggled. We just coasted along. The thing about coasting is that it usually means you're… — Molly Harper Common sense Copy Share Image
“The fact that these kits [vampire protection] were generally useless didn’t bother me nearly as much as the idea of holy water… — Molly Harper Holy water Copy Share Image
“Fortunately, among werewolf women, the word "bitch" is not offensive. I was having a lot of fun with that. "Hey there, bitches!"… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
“My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at… — Molly Harper Funny Copy Share Image
“What was the step down from vampire chauffeur? Werewolf walker? Pedicurist for Bigfoot? I would have to Google that in the morning,… — Molly Harper Bigfoot Copy Share Image
“I’ve never done this before. I didn’t go to human bars. Mudslides aside, I’m not much of a drinker. Club people are… — Molly Harper Book Copy Share Image
“He ground into me. His denim covered OHMYGOD pressing into my hot uncovered… lady business. I really had to start using grown… — Molly Harper Business Copy Share Image
“Well, now I felt horrible. I'd marred perfectly good ass cheeks for no reason. It was as if I'd sneezed on the… — Molly Harper Humor Copy Share Image
“When we were kids, Mama used to ask, “If Zeb wanted to jump off the roof, would you do it, too?” And… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
![“The fact that these kits [vampire protection] were generally useless didn’t bother me nearly as much as the idea of holy water being sold at Wal-Mart.” quote by Molly Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c79/molly-harper-2053_holy-water_the-fact-that-these-kits-vampire-protect_26192.png)
