“In San Antonio the crowd was small because it was the same day as the huge local Fiesta celebration. A man stepped… — Jenny Lawson Around the corner Copy Share Image
No," I replied testily. "I'm pretty sure 'digital' is Latin for 'fingeral,' so finger cancer equals digital cancer. This is all basic… — Jenny Lawson Anatomy Copy Share Image
“If I'd have been thinking I would have left some Woolite and my delicates by the sink for him to rinse out,… — Jenny Lawson Humour Copy Share Image
“Are asparaguses just artichokes that haven’t grown properly? Like they started smoking and got really skinny, like supermodels?” — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
“I've found, though, that people are more likely to share their personal experiences if you go first, so that's why I always… — Jenny Lawson Alcohol Copy Share Image
Even at age 10, I already knew that I was different from most people. My anxiety disorder was still years from being… — Jenny Lawson Affected Copy Share Image
If you could hear the insane stuff going on in my head, it would scare the hell out of you. Probably. Or… — Jenny Lawson Depends Copy Share Image
“Check your vagina. Does it look kind of broken? If so, you probably had a baby. Seriously, mine was all Franken-gina for… — Jenny Lawson Good Year Copy Share Image
“It's tempting to start each sentence with an apology or disclaimer. To preface everything with "In my life I've found" so that… — Jenny Lawson Anxiety Copy Share Image
“I told my boss that I had a book inside of me, and that I needed to get it out even if… — Jenny Lawson Book Copy Share Image
“It’s my personal opinion that airlines can do two things to make air travel better for everyone. The first is to have… — Jenny Lawson Air travel Copy Share Image
I am the Wizard of Oz of housewives (in that I am both "Great and Terrible" and because I sometimes hide behind… — Jenny Lawson Behinds Copy Share Image
“I yanked my arm out, and the cow looked back at me in disgust. And that’s when I realized that I no… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
I picked up the phone to call the police, but then I considered how it would sound when I told them that… — Jenny Lawson Bathroom Copy Share Image
“Whenever I tell people I have arthritis they usually say, "But you seem so young," which is sort of a backhanded compliment… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
But really, what else are you going to talk about in line at the liquor store? Childhood trauma seems like the natural… — Jenny Lawson Childhood Copy Share Image
Then I yelled through his door, "It's an anniversary gift for you, asshole. Two whole weeks early. FIFTEEN YEARS IS BIG METAL… — Jenny Lawson Anniversary Copy Share Image
I can finally see that all the terrible parts of my life, the embarrassing parts, the incidents I wanted to pretend never… — Jenny Lawson Different Copy Share Image
Writing about my illness put me into places. It was very triggering. I had to completely remove myself and practice self-care. I… — Jenny Lawson Be patient Copy Share Image
“Dear Victor: Wow. That … really got out of hand. I’m sending this cat in as a peace offering. I forgive you… — Jenny Lawson Victor Copy Share Image
“When you come out of the grips of a depression there is an incredible relief, but not one you feel allowed to… — Jenny Lawson Depressed Copy Share Image
“Besides, I wasn't the only one with sleep problems, as Victor had been talking in his sleep since he was a kid.… — Jenny Lawson Hotel room Copy Share Image
It's funny because the most sane women I've ever met are my mom and my grandmothers. I think you have to be… — Jenny Lawson Environment Copy Share Image
...you are defined not by life's imperfect moments, but by your reaction to them. — Jenny Lawson Imperfect Copy Share Image
“No one ever expects vaginal arthritis. (Or the Spanish Inquisition).” — Jenny Lawson Spanish inquisition Copy Share Image
