Jeff Dunham

The only way a ventriloquist speaks differently is that he forgoes using his or her lips, and learns to reproduce sounds using…

— Jeff Dunham

I'm a Macintosh nut. I got my PowerBook, so if I'm not writing jokes, I'm working on that.

— Jeff Dunham

I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic, it…

— Jeff Dunham

When I was in third grade I taught myself ventriloquism... What's hard is to learn to be an entertainer and make people…

— Jeff Dunham

“Jeff-did you guys have a good day? Jose-no Jeff-why Jose-he got my stick jammed in the car door Jeff-what?did you say sorry…

— Jeff Dunham

There's no real formula for doing it, it's either just living life and writing down a joke you think of in the…

— Jeff Dunham

I always try and do everything I can to the best of my abilities, single aspect has to be perfect.

— Jeff Dunham

I try to make the majority of my audience laugh.

— Jeff Dunham

I was not one of the popular kids, I was not great at sports, girls didn't pay attention to me.I was just…

— Jeff Dunham

I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my…

— Jeff Dunham

I had a happy, dramafree youth, growing up in an upper-middle-class neighborhood in Dallas, Texas. The only thing that was slightly unusual…

— Jeff Dunham

“Achmed 'Two Jews walk into a bar' No no no no no' Jeff You don't let Jews in your bar? You racist…

— Jeff Dunham

The roadwork is just rehearsal for that DVD you're going to film a year later.

— Jeff Dunham

“Jeff: There's a lot of history in this city... Peanut: Translated: Old. As. Shit. ”

— Jeff Dunham

A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.

— Jeff Dunham

On weekends when everybody would go to the football games, I would be getting on a plane or driving my car across…

— Jeff Dunham

Growing up, I thought it would be great if I could do big theaters. Now we're doing arenas.

— Jeff Dunham

I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's…

— Jeff Dunham

I started in a business background, but then it was like, 'you know, I can't do math,' so I changed it to…

— Jeff Dunham

There are not that many ventriloquists out there who build their own characters. I love that because they are uniquely mine.

— Jeff Dunham

I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That's my audience. They'll laugh at the dead terrorist.

— Jeff Dunham

I don't aim it at anybody specific, I don't aim my characters to make old people laugh or young people or professionals…

— Jeff Dunham

There's nothing better for a comedian than adversity.

— Jeff Dunham

I'm not trying to teach anybody anything, I'm not trying to say anything, I have no political motive whatsoever. My motive is…

— Jeff Dunham

We just got a tour bus. I didn't know tour buses could be this nice. It's just me, Brian Haner the guitar…

— Jeff Dunham