Best Jarod Kintz Quotes
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All men are created Equal. Some just have more Splenda.
All
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The US is about to go all Billy the Kid. Inflation is going to keep shooting up.
All
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If I told you Ive worked hard to get where Im at, Id be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.
Funny
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Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world.
Aphorism
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When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust. When I saw you with my clone in a dream,…
Clone
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I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never give him any mail. Maybe he will appreciate the thought,…
Always Brings
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I cut an inch off of every straw I see, just to make the world suck a little less.
Change
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I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave.
Art
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I dont like crude oil, because its so vulgar.
Crude
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If I promise you I'll show up fifteen minutes late, I'll always arrive on time.
Always Arrive
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If I tell you I want to be a door-to-door salesman, dont knock it.
Dont
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If sex were shoes, I'd wear you out. But I wouldn't wear you out in public.
Funny
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I want to do something spontaneous, like combust.
Combust
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The only problem with politicians taking two week vacations every year is its about 50 weeks too short.
Every Year
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No matter how much water a sink takes on, it never lives up to its name. The Titanic would never have sunk if it were…
Funny
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Never let go of a good thing without a fight. Especially if that good thing is a pair of boxing gloves.
Boxing
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I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy.
Easy
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Economist should be spelled echonomist, because they all repeat each other.
All
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There are an infinite number of reasons to say no. Instead, try to focus on one good reason to say yes.
Focus
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My girlfriend bought be a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I dont get too far ahead of her when she takes me for…
Ahead
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I cut my hair so it looks like I just woke up all the time, so that I can be like, what year is it?…
80s
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The problem with Marxism is the proletariat isnt going to rise up against capitalism and consumerism. The only time theyll rise up is during a…
Bathroom
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Im trying to overcome my OCD by replacing my neurosis with three other letters.
Im Trying
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Too much nudity is a turn off. Especially if all that flesh is on one person.
All
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My favorite color on canvas is nudity.
Art
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