I have no idea what's going to happen with America in the future. — Jackie Mason America Copy Share Image
My grandfather always said, Don't watch your money, watch your health. So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole… — Jackie Mason Grandfather Copy Share Image
The Republican Party stinks because all of the Republicans have accomplished nothing, and they talk about all of these issues and do… — Jackie Mason Democracy Copy Share Image
I'm still suffering from shock from the last war. I was almost drafted! Luckily I was wounded while taking the physical. When… — Jackie Mason Army Copy Share Image
The main problem with the Democrats is their utter negativity. They're made up of schumucks and hypocrites. They also have higher levels… — Jackie Mason Democracy Copy Share Image
America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress. — Jackie Mason America Copy Share Image
I knew nothing about professional comedians when I became a comedian. I was a rabbi. So I had no professional comedians to… — Jackie Mason About Copy Share Image
