The Shortest Solution Of Every Problem Is To Minimize The Distance Between Your Knee And Floor. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Don't be sad if a person prefers another person over you. Because you can't convince a m0nkey that honey is m0re sweeter… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Sarcasm Copy Share Image
My annoying friend said that running will get my mind off things. He's right, I felt much better after I ran him… — Green Monk Friendship Copy Share Image
No babies on this plane. I don't want to be the one crying & puking for the entire duration of the flight… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My girlfriends are my most valuable possessions, thats why I keep them locked up in closet. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Wish there was a pill I could put in a girl's drink, that would make her do my taxes. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
In case of emergency exits can be located at the sign out, delete, deactivate, mute & block features Thank you for flying… — Green Monk Exits Copy Share Image
What is the fastest thing in the world? Milk, because it's pasteurized before you see it! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Research has revealed that you can actually fall in love with your own wife if some other man describes her to you... — Green Monk Fall in love Copy Share Image
If it wasn't for my excitement to hate someone new I wouldn't leave my bed in the morning. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.. — Green Monk Best husband Copy Share Image
On the Internet, you can choose to be whoever you want. I don't understand why so many people choose to be stupid… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Many people dying from natural causes. Forget Aids and Cancer, we need a cure for natural causes. — Green Monk Death Copy Share Image
I have enough money to Live comfortably for the rest of my life…...If I die next Tuesday. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
With all the bullshit in my life lately, I'm surprised I can't fertilize a nice flower garden in my back yard! — Green Monk Flower Copy Share Image
I got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks ... to the alligators...All I wanted was to complete the circle… — Green Monk Circle of life Copy Share Image
I accused my friend of being gay yesterday... He was so angry he hit me with his purse! — Green Monk Angry Copy Share Image
Ask a SUCCESSFUL person HOW TO FINISH… But always, Ask an EXPERIENCED person HOW TO START — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I respect a woman's decision to undergo plastic surgery to go from being ugly to being ugly & disgusting. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Ladies call me Subway because I've got low-quality meat and lie about being six inches! — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Even when it's not the best of days, you can always tell yourself, hey, at least I'm not the person who sank… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I hope I live to be 100 if only just to mess with people by telling them fake reasons why I lived… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Ladies, there's always going to be that one girl who's prettier than you, but you've just got to find that one guy… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
When you fall in love, you want the world to know it, but you dont want to admit it. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
It's difficult for me to tell whether girls like me for who I am as a person. Damn my incredibly massive penis. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Apparently kicking my friend in the chest & yelling THIS IS SPARTA! is not an appropriate response to what do you feel… — Green Monk Friendship Copy Share Image
They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a shitload of beer and tacos and that's close enough. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Whenever I kill a spider in my house I leave it's guts smeared on the wall to let all the other spider… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
You know you deserve someone better when the one youve always fought for is also the one youve always cried for. — Green Monk Being hurt by someone you love Copy Share Image
A girl who loves you for who you are is priceless. for all other girls, there is master card! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The problem is that as much as I cant force you to love me, I cant force myself to stop loving you. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Caring for someone is easy but to make someone care for you is difficult¦ So never lose the one who really cares… — Green Monk Caring Copy Share Image
The shortest scary story ever: The last man on Earth sat in a room. There was a knock at the door. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
You didn't catch me cheating. I'm a masseuse, my tongue was just giving her tongue a massage. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Four miracles of womanhood: getting wet without taking a shower; bleeding without getting hurt; giving milk without eating grass; and making boneless… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Drugs and alcohol are never the answer. Unless someone asked me, What are you doing this weekend? — Green Monk Drugs Copy Share Image
You know whats better than watching a beautiful woman get dressed...laughing at what she is wearing — Green Monk Beautiful woman Copy Share Image
They say women love surprises but come out from under her bed yelling surprise! & you get arrested & sent to prison. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Keep your friends close and your alcohol closer. Then get drunk and insult your friends. — Green Monk Drunk Copy Share Image
