I bought 13 alarm clocks and set them to go off at 5AM and put them all over my girlfriend's room. She… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You are the source of all that exists around you; you are the creator of your own world. — Green Monk Creator Copy Share Image
Get to know someone before judging them. It's much easier to judge once you have more information. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Once a gay boy married a lesbian girl .. and then.. . . . . . . . nothing happened.. what was supposed to happen anyway?? — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you have sex with their wives, and then you… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I just want to be successful enough to make others do the work that I'm being paid to do. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
The hot dog was invented in 1903 by Jonathan Hotdog when he accidentally dropped a bag of prize-winning pig assholes in his… — Green Monk Computers Copy Share Image
A woman in labor was screaming profanities at her husband. He calmly said, Dont blame me. I wanted to stick it in… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Marriages may be made in heaven, but the maintainance charges have to be paid on earth... — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Love is an awesome feeling that makes you feel so good that you'll cheat on your wife. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The less make up you have on the more attractive you become. I don't make the rules. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
People tell me I'm a drama queen. I don't get why that's a bad thing. If I'm a queen, don't I get… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A blow-job is the only job in the world that can't be included in your resume despite years of experience and a… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Spending a long time writing a really long message then accidentally pressing the back button. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
The best day to propose to a girl is on April Fools Day. If she says yes, then good. But, if she… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I think it's time to clean out your Fridge when you open the door and something reaches out and hands you a… — Green Monk Beer Copy Share Image
Ex's are like toys you give them to the less fortunate so you can move on to bigger and better things ! — Green Monk Better things Copy Share Image
I'm thinking about growing a beard so I have something cool to do with my hands when I think. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
People make the world go around but at some point dont you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My wife told me she wanted something with lots of diamonds, I bought her a deck of cards — Green Monk Deck of cards Copy Share Image
My granddaughter wanted a Cinderella theme party, so I invited all her friends over and made them clean my house! — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
I always wondered how theres 6 members in my family but theres like 20 tooth brushes… — Green Monk Family Copy Share Image
You know you spend too much time online when you start double clicking on your light switches. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
To understand a woman, you have to listen to her when she is looking at you, not when she is talking... — Green Monk Communication Copy Share Image
I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A gorgeous blonde found an old lamp and gently stroked it. I wonder if a genie will come, she mused. From inside… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
You wanna play games; Game On. Just remember, I'm not just a bitch, I am an intelligent bitch and out of your… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Everytime I see my girlfriends tits they remind me why I pretend to care about what she has to say — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Whenever I see a couple holding hands from far away I sprint & imagine it being the finish line of a 100… — Green Monk Finish line Copy Share Image
Don't let your memory get poor with time. Do the right things to sharpen it ... like... lending me your money! — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
When I was young I was afraid of dark, Now when I get my electricity bill I'm afraid of light. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I get upset when someone accepts my invitation to connect on LinkedIn. How dare you took a long time to accept an… — Green Monk Funny Copy Share Image
Real men don't date the most beautiful girl in the world,they date the girl who makes their world the most beautiful. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
This girl just got mad cause I said she had awesome boobs, how the hell was I supposed to know the dude… — Green Monk Boobs Copy Share Image
When your exes see youu happy,moving on with someone else... THAT'S when they want to wiggle their way back into your life. — Green Monk Dating Copy Share Image
A little ego is good. It prevents you from making a complete fool of yourself. But a little more ego has the… — Green Monk Fool Copy Share Image
Ever wonder about the true purpose of mosquitoes? I'm thinking it must be God's source of amusement... watching us slap ourselves! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A real man knows how to comfort his woman in good or bad situations. He's one of the reasons why she's always… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
